fff 6. Redefining Old Habits, Fairytale Xmas Reads, and Blueberry Eggnog Muffins
This one's a little more vague (or lazy), but it also means I'm covering more ground??? Maybe...???
Happy December!
Quick update:
I’m working on some music that’ll hopefully be released soon(er or later) - I have a couple of covers to share until then, and a new digital diary on its way. Christmas is coming on wayyy too quick; I still need to buy gifts for most of my family. If anyone has any present ideas for my 14 year old brother you’d be saving my life… I have new photos for my agency tomorrow, which means beauty sleep is essential, except it’s always the times when I need good sleep the most that I’m unable to fall asleep properly. Just me? Also, the photo above was taken a few Christmases ago by my friend Ellie, who I have to thank for making me look straight out of the folklore cover shoot. It makes me miss the snow madly…
Going over my current favourites, nothing seemed particularly fitting for writing paragraphs on, except one thing which felt more in the ‘alien in London’ sphere. I decided it doesn’t matter if they overlap, because while this is something I wanted to talk about at length on the blog, it does also fall into the ‘favourites’ category, that being: redefining old habits. This goes hand in hand with making positive changes to our life as the end of the year approaches. I recently delved back into ballet 3 years since putting an end to my 12 years of training, and realised that the thing I used to despise about it was the lack of being able to do it of my own volition. I am restarting in a weekly beginners class, with the knowledge that it won’t lead to exams and eternal commitment. There’s a freedom and a choice to it now, and on that topic, I’d started to realise how easy it is to redefine all kinds of memories and hobbies that once made you unhappy. It’s the same as revisiting a spot that was once special to you and an ex friend or partner, or never being able to listen to a song again since it’s association with a negative time in your life. Now seems as good a time as any to revisit that place with somebody new, or even alone, and make a day of it, or listen to that song just after something positive happens, to alter the association. To wholly accept the past and simultaneously accept that the present and future will be different.
Again, covering a broader spectrum, I think it’s high time we get into the Christmas novels… Instead of just one this week, I’ve created a shortlist of my favourite Xmas reads, some personal favourites and some recommended by friends and family.
And lastly, a recipe made out of accident earlier this week… I know the blueberry/eggnog combo sounds questionable, but with the right balance of spice and the moisture from the fruit, it makes the perfect snack or breakfast muffin.
favourite: redefining old habits; ballet
I can’t recall a single time I leapt at the thought of my weekly ballet lessons as a teenager (no pun intended). Life wasn’t what it is now, though. If we find something tough, we revert to ‘romanticising’ it just a little to make it more bearable. It’s a new age TikTok thing I think… And oddly enough it can really work. If I’d let it sink in at the time that ballet was something so many people longed to do, as a career or otherwise, I might’ve not taken it for granted so much. I made a commitment to carry on until I reached my Advance level RAD, because as my mum reminded me, that was when I would be qualified to teach. Even with the end in sight, however, it didn't make me any more willing.
Without delving far into anything too emotional (which has never stopped me before but I’ll get it together for the Xmas season…) there was of course the whole element of dance culture involved. The rigorous body shaming and dieting and endless comparison that can present itself if you’re in a certain class or have a certain teacher. But it’s not even dependent on those factors; it’s rooted into the history of dance (especially ballet) culture and training that you should look a certain way. If you were to hear any of my mum’s stories from dance school back in the day you’d never step foot in a studio… And though all of this impacted my experience of the dance and performance world, it’s also simply always been in the making of me to doubt my capabilities and let go when things feel too hard. (I’d rather say ‘let go’ than ‘give up’, because it’s hardly ever coming from a place of indolence; more me reaching a point where I refuse to go on with something that doesn’t light a fire in me). That’s exactly what it was at the time; a childhood after-school activity, that became a passion, that then died down and felt like something to push through.
Coming back to the topic at hand though, for the first time in 3 years, I felt I was getting drawn back into dance. Without the added pressure of grades, fitting criteria and physical/emotional struggle, it seemed new and desirable… Having something else in my schedule, getting to meet new people, and all in an environment that is purely positive and for learning and improvement.
I have to be honest though, that first class last week left me feeling quite the opposite. I felt old habits and tendencies begin to fester; comparing myself to my classmates in every sense, looking for validation and confirmation that I was good enough… But halfway through, I dropped it. I reminded myself of the endgame here - I’m not doing it to be a professional ballerina anymore. I let myself experience ballet from a whole different, more freeing perspective, and couldn’t remember a time before that it had ever felt like that. By the end, I wasn’t brimming with relief that it was over - I felt equal pride, and closure with a departing negative association.
I hope you can find the time for yourself at the end of this year, or sometime into 2025, to do the same. You owe it to yourself to go into a new era releasing whatever darkness may have a hold on you.
fiction: my ‘Christmas reads’ shortlist
I haven’t read enough Christmas themed books yet myself to make a shortlist, unfortunately, though I plan to change that… So these are a combination of picks from myself, friends and family.
The Christmas Appeal - Janice Hallett
Starting out short, we have the novela by Janice Hallett, author of The Appeal. She’s been described as the ‘modern Agatha Christie’, so if the sound of Christmas being turned into a murder mystery doesn’t get you in the festive holiday spirit, I don’t know what will…
Wintering - Katherine May
Not only is it the title of my favourite 1975 song, but it’s also a guide on allowing yourself to succumb to the natural changes and transformations that take place as the seasons move on - much like we’ve been discussing above with redefining habits and moments. This is a beautiful, down to earth read that guided me from the final months of 2023 into 2024.
One Day In December - Josie Silver
Had to get a romantic one in there, purely because I’m a Hallmark Christmas movie addict, and this is very much in that circle. This was part of Reese Witherspoon’s book club pick, and is apparently set to be adapted for screen for Netflix sometime soon, so get in there before it comes out on TV!
This Christmas
Another romance… Think ‘The Holiday’, but in the same country - and house. Two strangers book a cottage stay for the same time, prepared to spend the holiday season alone, but gradually find they’re not entirely against the arrangement.
food: blueberry eggnog muffins
For this recipe, you can either make eggnog from scratch/ buy some to replace with the milk, or go for the simple taste of nutmeg spice to carry through the flavour. The latter means you’ll probably have all ingredients in the house, so does prove easier!
ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg (1/4 if you’re using eggnog)
1 cup milk OR eggnog
1 large egg
1/3 cup butter melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup frozen regular or wild blueberries
ingredients for crumble topping (optional):
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
pinch of cinnamon & nutmeg
1/3 cup cold butter cubed
method:
Preheat oven to 180 C
If you’re making a crumble topping, mix all the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, spices) in a small bowl. Once combined, use your hands to rub in the cubes of butter until you have a crumbly mixture
To make your muffins, add flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt to a bowl. In a separate bowl mix the wet ingredients: eggnog/milk, egg, melted butter, and vanilla extract
Stir the wet ingredients into the dry and stir with a spatula, getting rid of any flour pockets
Pour in your cup of blueberries. Stir until mixed in but not so much that they start to melt a lot - they’ll turn the mixture purple!
Fill 12 muffin cases with batter evenly until about half - 3/4 full. If using crumble topping, sprinkle about 2 pinches over each muffin
Bake for 15-20 minutes depending on how moist you want them
Once slightly cooled, you can make a glaze if you prefer a dessert feel - mix some powdered sugar with a little milk or eggnog, and add some cinnamon, then drizzle on top!
Okeeey that makes fff no. 6! Thank you as always for reading if you’ve made it this far. I hope everyone is feeling the lead-up-to-Christmas anticipation :)
I’d like to declare here and now that the official initiation for being a part of the alien in London family is that you HAVE to watch at least 2 Jill Wagner Hallmark films before Christmas. You heard it here.
Also, I have had so many great responses about the writers’ coffee idea, and I’m so glad to see so many people are interested! I’m currently thinking up some plan
s for the new year - it’ll be lovely to see your faces in person and start the year off with some new friends.
As always, have a wonderful week. Until next time!
